Face pie (meat pie with a sculpted pastry face)

Trace the pie dish on paper; build the underlying facial features (brow ridge, nose, lips, cheekbones, eyes) from pieces of dough.

Slide onto a sheet pan and freeze until hard; chill the remaining dough.

Roll half the dough to about an eighth of an inch with flour and lay it over the frozen features; push and pull into shape with the fingertips, smoothing with wet fingers, chilling whenever the dough gets soft.

Make nostrils with a chopstick, cut one open eye and one closed eyelid, and cut between the lips.

Freeze the face about 15 minutes; meanwhile roll the rest of the dough for the bottom crust and spoon in the filling.

Peel the paper off the frozen face, lay it over the filling and let it soften 10 to 15 minutes.

Beat the egg with the water for egg wash.

Tuck the face in around the edges and trim the excess under the rim; add half a grape as an eyeball with dough eyelids and score lines in the lips.

Brush with plain egg wash, then egg wash with a small drop of red food coloring around eyes and nose, then with a big drop for the lips and nose tip.

Crimp the edge with a fork, ideally while the dough is cold.

Set on a baking sheet, loosely tent with foil (removed halfway), and bake in the centre of a 375 oven for just over an hour.

Cool on a rack before cutting.