Whole boiled lobster

Stick a wooden skewer down each side of the lobster's tail to hold it straight through cooking.

Plunge it into a pot of salted boiling water for about 3 minutes on the head side and 3 on the tail side, since it does not fit in the pot whole.

When the shell has turned orange, lift it out onto a bed of romaine lettuce with a lemon wedge or two beside it.

Measured outcome: this came out undercooked; it needed two more minutes on each side, bringing the total to about 10 minutes.