Every meat burrito

Stem and seed the dried chilies and cut them into one inch pieces.

Dry toast the chilies in a pan with garlic and spices, add a quart of chicken stock, simmer until everything is soft, then blend smooth. Take the top out of the blender lid and cover it with a cloth so pressure cannot build.

Mix the cumin, brown sugar, ancho chili powder, coriander, Mexican oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, black pepper and paprika into a barbecue dry rub and coat the baby back ribs generously. The rub turns tacky and becomes bark.

Rest the rubbed ribs uncovered in the fridge overnight.

Heat vegetable oil in a braising pan and sear the turkey, lamb, turtle, chicken thighs, beef short ribs, pheasant, quail and Cornish game hen to get colour on them.

Deglaze with four cups each chicken stock and chili paste, add the quartered onion and the halved head of garlic. The liquid should leave the topmost facet of the meat sticking out.

Braise at 225F for three hours, adding the poultry and turtle at about the two hour point, then another hour until tender.

Mix the five ground meats in about an equal amount of each, fry them, and add the chili simmer sauce.

Crisp the duck bacon in a pan and add it to the ground meat.

Cool the braised meats to room temperature, refrigerate overnight and reheat the next day.

Whisk the ketchup, mustard powder, ground ginger, dried garlic, onion powder, Dijon, dark brown sugar, molasses, chili simmer sauce, black pepper and salt, and cook about 10 minutes.

Smoke the ribs three hours uncovered, spritzing with the vinegar, water, soy and Worcestershire mixture every 30 to 45 minutes for the first hour, then two hours wrapped in foil and one hour uncovered again, saucing at the end.

Whisk the carne asada spices with the olive oil and lime juice, pour over the bison, elk, kangaroo and venison in a zip top bag and marinate an hour at room temperature.

Sear the marinated steaks over a grill in excess of 700F, then finish them on the cool side to about medium.

Parboil the bull testicle, cool it in ice water, then slice it into medallions and trim off the sheath.

Whisk the all-purpose flour, rice flour, salt and baking powder, then add the seltzer and mix gently only to the consistency of thin paint. Overmixing develops gluten and makes the breading tough and gummy.

Deep fry the alligator, tilapia, shrimp, lobster, crab and testicle in the batter.

Reheat the shredded braised meats and the chopped grilled meats in chicken schmaltz, carnitas style.

Build the burrito: braised meats first, then the fried, then the ground meats and duck bacon, then the grilled game, then the ribs.