Four Horse Meals of the Egg Porkalypse

Whisk the buttermilk pancake batter to a lumpy smooth consistency, cover with plastic wrap and fridge up to 24 hours.

Peel and chop five medium russets into one inch chunks, dunking them into cool water so they do not discolor and to wash off starch, then drain and pat dry.

Par-fry the potatoes in 350 degree Fahrenheit vegetable oil three to four minutes until lightly browned and cooked through, then drain and cool completely about 20 minutes.

Process the cooled potatoes in batches with eight one second pulses into a chunky paste, fishing out any extra large chunks.

Season with two teaspoons of sugar, a few twists of pepper, about a teaspoon of kosher salt and a tablespoon of potato starch, then form into oblong oval pucks.

Freeze the patties about an hour until solid.

Fry them in 375 degree Fahrenheit oil about five minutes until deeply golden brown and crisp, drain on a wire rack and hold in a low oven.

Tenderize the top sirloin with a cube steak meat tenderizer until covered in small incisions.

Whisk one cup of all-purpose flour with a teaspoon each of kosher salt and cayenne for the dry station.

Whisk one large egg, a teaspoon of baking powder and half a teaspoon of baking soda into a slurry, then whisk in one cup of buttermilk.

Double batter the steaks: dry, shake off, wet, then back into the dry for a bulky craggly exterior.

Fry in 350 degree Fahrenheit oil about four to five minutes per side until deeply golden brown, flipping carefully so the shell does not crack; drain on a wire rack and hold in a low oven.

Reserve the fried gunk in the bottom of the pot with two to three tablespoons of the fry oil, add half a finely minced onion and saute two to three minutes until translucent at the edges.

Add two or three crushed cloves of garlic and saute about 30 seconds until fragrant, then add a quarter cup of flour and cook two to three minutes until the raw flour smell goes.

Slowly whisk in about half a cup of beef stock and one cup of light cream, adding the rest and whisking over medium high until bubbling and thickened, then lower the heat.

Season with kosher salt, pepper and an optional sprinkle of cayenne, reduced until it coats the back of a spoon.

Peel and shred three large russets directly into a bowl of cool water.

Heat the flat top, drizzle with canola oil, and fry about a pound of bacon extra crisp and three large slabs of ham until browned; hold on a plate in a low oven.

Fry the breakfast sausage and dollop large buttermilk pancakes in the bacon fat, about three minutes on the first side until pale and blistery at the edges, then two to three minutes on the other.

Squeeze the shredded potatoes dry in a clean kitchen towel, season lightly with kosher salt and pepper, and load onto the oiled flat top.

Flatten into a patty with a large metal spatula and cover with a bowl while frying the first side; flip once nicely browned and cook four to five minutes per side.

Scramble 12 eggs in the bacon and sausage fat until big soft pillowy curds form.

Serve the hash brown patties topped with the scattered hash brown, with the sausage gravy alongside.