The Broodwich

For the ham, dissolve the pink curing salt and kosher salt in a gallon of distilled water and cure the pork shoulder in it three to five days depending on thickness, agitating once a day.

Pat the cured pork dry, insert a temperature probe and roast at 300F for two to three hours, broiling briefly at the end for a dark crust.

For the pastrami, whisk the pickling spices, curing salt, brown sugar and kosher salt into two gallons of distilled water and cure the brisket pieces three to five days, agitating every 24 hours.

Desalinate the cured brisket at least an hour in cool water, then cover with water in a big pot and simmer two to three hours; that is corned beef.

Whisk the coriander, black pepper, mustard powder, paprika, garlic powder and onion powder together and coat the corned beef all over.

Smoke about two hours at 225F.

For the mortadella, skin the pork belly and cut into half-inch chunks; split into fattier and leaner halves. Spread the leaner half on a parchment-lined sheet and freeze 15 to 20 minutes until firm at the edges; hold the fattier half in the fridge.

Cut the lean pork loin into one inch chunks and freeze about 20 minutes.

Grind the loin and belly together on the largest plate with chilled grinder parts.

Grind the star anise and caraway fine, pass through a fine mesh sieve and combine with the garlic powder, mace, white pepper, curing salt, coriander and salt.

Toss the spice mix through the coarse ground pork, then grind again on the finest setting.

Spread the ground pork on parchment-lined sheets and freeze about 20 minutes.

Cover the reserved fatty belly, the pistachios and the peppercorns with boiling water and leave about 20 minutes to soften, then strain and set aside.

In a chilled food processor, emulsify the semi-frozen pork in batches with frozen red wine and ice water, about two tablespoons of each per pound, about 45 seconds a batch until smooth and creamy.

Fry a small patty and taste for seasoning, then mix the cooled fat, nut and peppercorn mixture evenly through the paste.

Form into a log on plastic wrap, pressing big fat chunks into the centre, wrap tight and twist the ends taut; fridge 24 hours.

Vacuum seal and cook sous vide at 158F for five to six hours, then chill in an ice bath and refrigerate.

For the pepper turkey, coat a turkey breast generously with kosher salt and ground pepper, leave in the fridge overnight, then roast at 300F about 45 minutes or to about 145F, which will carry to 155F.

For the roast beef, coat the eye round with salt and pepper, fridge overnight, roast at 300F to an internal 120F, then chill and slice.

Whisk the bread flour, sugar and yeast together; add the milk, oil, egg, food coloring and salt and mix with dough hooks on medium seven to 10 minutes to a smooth supple dough.

Ball it, return it to the bowl and proof at room temperature one to one and a half hours until doubled.

Cut off a small piece for the horns and tail; roll the rest to about a 16 by 12 inch rectangle and roll it up lengthwise, pinching the seam, into a submarine roll.

Put the loaf, horns and tail on a parchment-lined sheet, cover with greased plastic wrap and rise 45 minutes until it springs back gently when poked.

Slash the loaf four times shallowly and bake at 350F about 18 minutes, to an internal 200 to 210F; cool completely on a rack.

For the mayonnaise, combine the eggs, Dijon, lemon juice, garlic and salt in a container just wider than the immersion blender head, blend lightly, top with the oil, then blend from the bottom up.

Slice all the chilled meats razor thin on the thinnest setting.

Slather mayonnaise on the bottom of the loaf, then Dijon mustard, then pile on the five cold cuts.

Add cheddar and provolone, lettuce and sun-dried tomatoes, a last smear of mayonnaise and mustard, and the top of the loaf.

Cut holes in the loaf and push the baked horns and tail in, no toothpicks, so the whole thing stays edible.